In trying to step up to the plate and meet the celestials and galactics at a place where I think I can be of use to them, I come across the denying self again, that nagging voice that denies my ability, resolve, etc. “You can’t do that. Who do you think you are? Get off your high horse.” Etc.
When I listen to it, my forward motion becomes like walking through molasses.
I have to say that it’s tangible demonstrations of celestial power that most impress me and help me build confidence. Ultimately confidence will strengthen me enough not to listen to the denying self.
There’s a reason I do. There’s a payoff: I get to continue playing small and playing it safe.
I realize that not everyone has the same access to the celestials. Hence it seems all the more important for me to share about my own.
You know about the whole episode of me deciding to move and then finding myself on a very pleasurable roller coaster as the celestials got me the perfect, next location. THAT was tangible proof. Proof coming my way day after day.
I watched us get through one barrier after another, as easily as slicing through butter.
Getting through these seemingly-impassable and impossible obstacles does build my feeling of confidence in surrendering to the celestials as our partners. Then again, if I don’t, I won’t have a game to play. Why on Earth would I turn down this opportunity? Only if I listen to the denying self.
I’m working on it. Doing push-ups in the area of dropping any limiting beliefs I still have, letting the denying self be without following it, and opening up to miracles.
Later the next morning, I noticed, when I woke up, that my emotional floor had risen. At this level of vibration, I did not go down as deeply into what we’d think of as negative emotions.
I had a conversation with myself, at one point wondering how much of what I write is inspired and how much “comes from me.” When I came to look at the “me” side, I watched the ego arise and noticed that the feelings I then felt were the same as those I felt with the denying self.
I saw then that the ego was the denying self. It was considered solely with being safe and secure – with surviving. Anything that threatened my survival – in any way – I panned. Or I discouraged any choices that led me into situations of potential risk.
The ego is the consciousness convinced that it’s no more than the body, whose survival is key in life. It assumes the role of guardian to see that anything perceived as a threat is dealt with.
As we await events that will thrust us onto a much larger stage – for some even a global stage – we can expect the ego or denying self to feel endangered at times and go a little crazy.
The way it’ll express itself, I predict, is through the mechanism of our core issues or vasanas.