I’m going to repost an article on vasanas and the upset clearing process as a companion to this piece.
The hypothesis behind the Ascension work that I’m doing, which AAM has said that he wants me to do publicly, (1) is that who we are – the soul, the Christ, the Atman – is buried under debris and that all that needs to be done is to shed that debris and the soul is unconcealed.
So the hypothesis is not that we’re being uplifted – although we are. It isn’t that we’re going somewhere – although we are and we’re not.
The hypothesis I’m working with is rather that we’re soul mining – excavating the overburden that hides the inner gold.
The inner gold mine is unlike a regular gold mine. In a regular gold mine, the gold is everywhere, mixed in with the matrix.
In ours, the overburden (vasanas, conditioned responses, constructed self) lies on top of a layer of pure gold. We simply have to remove it to reveal the spiritual gold underneath, what AAM calls our “spiritual currency.”
If you like to see the situation as a building, then the vasanas or core issues are the concrete foundation, the conditioned responses are the building, and the constructed self is the outer facade.
Now we’re demolishing the whole thing.
I am – you are – in the midst of unconcealing ourselves – the completion of our vasanas, the release of our conditioned responses, and the demolition of our constructed selves.
I use every opportunity to process a vasana that arises. This morning, I awoke and saw that every day I open my eyes with a feeling of depression and dismay. That feeling is not obvious to me because it itself is usually obscured by other, even more traumatic feelings.
But these other situationally-stimulated feelings are subsiding now, leaving only the self-stimulated feelings from the past via my vasanas.
The Arcturian Group said something interesting. The offered this explanation of what happened with most lightworkers’ choices of family:
“Because this is such an important time on Earth, most of you chose birth families that would serve to activate deeply-buried issues, bringing them to a conscious level where they could be finally resolved and released.” (2)
That applied to me. I see my family history as having served to awaken or bring forward my warrior aspect from millennia ago.
I’m reawakening that spirit, AA Michael told me, because I’ll need the warrior’s strength to manage what lies ahead. So I see the relevance of the Arcturian Group’s explanation.
Back to waking up this morning feeling depression and dismay. I felt that way because I feel shame at being the one (in my own imagination only, of course) who faces into my Father’s depredations. I feel shame for the hate I feel towards him, shame for what I’ve done to foil him, shame for how long I held onto my hatred of him, shame, shame, shame.
Consequently I feel depressed at the thought of waking up and facing another day in which, in my imagination, I strap on my sword and buckler and go into battle.
And I feel dismayed at the thought that this will be another day colored by feelings shame, fear, and hatred.
I haven’t forgiven myself and the tears come up now. Here I am sitting in my local coffee shop in the early morning hours and crying.
You’ve seen me in the midst of breaking through to transformation. Now you get to see me weeping in a coffee shop because I haven’t forgiven myself. Who needs reality TV?
Nonetheless: Yippeee! The vasana is up. The only time it can be handled is when it’s up – in full emotional glory. It’s like landing a huge fish. You can’t land it until it takes the hook.
And now the tears gush up.
(What follows reflects the way I release a vasana. This is a part – not the whole – of the upset clearing process. It’s the “expedited” process.)(3)
First I feel my anger as my victim response goes off – lost childhood, beast of a father (not really), betrayer, on and on I go.
I breathe through that, experiencing it completely.
From underneath that arises sorrow. I hear myself saying I never had a Dad. In later life, I often was attracted to girls for their fathers. The sorrow and the disappointment flows and I stay weeping.
Then that ceases. Or perhaps “mitigates,” “moderates” would be a better word. I am, as it were, giving myself a listening.
And then the realization hits: This was the life I constructed for myself so that I’d be able to fulfill the service contract I agreed to. It has fulfilled its purpose and I can now consign it to a faulty memory and let it go.
I actually feel happy for the first time, reflecting on my life. We did it. We succeeded in reawakening the warrior in me that I’d need at this stage of my life to take the next step. Thank you, cast of many, cast of One.
With that realization, I’m complete. I understand the whole scenario now. I experience my choice in its design and outworking.
The truth has set me free from the unwanted condition.
One beneficial outcome of it all, besides reactivating my warrior file, was motivating me to learn the art of cleansing myself of vasanas. That has been of infinite usefulness to me and hopefully of some to others.
And with that, in the kaleidoscope that life is, I move on to the next obstacle to the revelation of the bliss that I am.
What’s the next barrier, Mother?
I acknowledge K’s help in assisting me through this completion.
(1) “There is much to be said for everyman, and that is part of the role you play. Yes, you are a pillar. You are an anchor. You’re an informant but you’re also playing the role of everyman – with curiosity, with exploration, with insight. So our desire is not to separate you from the collective. Let go of the fear.” (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, , Nov. 11, 2015.)
“I beg of you, do not assume that when you write of what you are calling ‘the inner work,’ that this does not have profound effect because the focus of the leadership movement, right now is on the inner work.” (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, June 7, 2015.)
(2) Arcturian Group, July 20, 2014, at http://www.onenessofall.com/2014-2.html
(3) For the whole of the upset clearing process, see “How to Handle Unwanted Feelings: The Upset Clearing Process” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2011/04/25/how-to-handle-unwanted-feelings-the-upset-clearing-process/, (reproduced below).