Being Alone with Myself – Steve Beckow @ Golden Age of Gaia

unknown artist

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Being Alone with Myself

I see myself, at this moment, having reached the endpoint of the process of cocooning I’ve been engaging in for quite some time.

It began as a desire to withdraw from an endless flow of correspondence, in the face of which the monk in me was drowning.

It entered an acute phase recently when I felt I needed to withdraw from all formal commitments, most teams, etc.

I feel myself at this moment utterly free of obligations, alone with myself.

This experience of just being here with myself – not the guy who promised to be here at this time or do this for that person – was for me transformative.  What I found was that the space of solitude was not empty. I was in it.

It wasn’t a matter of take some cave time to clean up my room and get organized. Or even take some time off to reflect. It was a matter of guess who you find in the space when you stop all the external running around?

I found myself.

It’s like having been away from myself since forever and suddenly waking up. Oh, I was asleep! Oh, hello. I know you.

I don’t consider this an enlightenment experience. It’s more a peak moment, transformational experience, or “Aha!”  I just happened to be near my laptop.

I don’t think what’s happening at this moment means I always have to be alone either. With all experiences in consciousness, once we’ve reached our destination, we may not have to continue the particular discipline that got us there. A new discipline may be needed to take us to the next level.

I needed to be alone to find out who lives in that space. And now I’m just basking in the experience.

The one who’s in that space is the one I never get to meet as long as I’m obligated, scheduling, and rushing around.

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unknown artist

Being Alone with Myself

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