I’m aware of an intensely-felt need for introspection, solitude, and quiet these days.
I don’t consider it permanent, but temporary, and it probably won’t affect my communications work.
After having written several drafts of the article that follows, I came across this passage from Lisa Brown, which very much resonated with and reassured me:
“Many may continually find the desire to withdraw, to be alone, to cut the chaos and distractions of anything exterior out. This will happen during ‘high tuning’ times…. Your consciousness (and senses) are enhanced, your field is trying to expand, your SPIRIT/SOUL is fine-tuning and ‘that outside of you’ can create distortions that interfere with this process for you.
“When your physical body is being [PRECISELY] and INTRICATELY TUNED… you need ‘space,’ just for you. You need to allow the process of physical-body upgrades to occur, for you.” (1)
That sums it up for me.
A Need for Space
This need for space manifests in many different ways.
One way is that I feel physically relieved when I reach my apartment door and shut it. Only in the peace inside do I feel fully myself.
And in writing.
I haven’t successfully enough integrated the growth that’s happened so far to be able to translate that peace fully and easily into the outside world. That’ll come, I’m sure, but not right now for me.
Another way the desire shows up is, yes, I do go to a coffee shop each day to write and for social companionship (that’s where I am now). But I also wear my headset and listen to music so I’m therefore not really available. I’m holding onto solitude even in the course of seeking to rub shoulders with others of my tribe, so to speak.
Soaking up other people’s vibrations is as much social contact as I can reliably and continuously support during this time of high energy, when mountains are not mountains and rivers are not rivers for me. I’m met by so many new and strange internal phenomena in the course of a day that I can barely tolerate things like small talk or pasttimes anymore.
I don’t see how I can be this introverted forever.
The Tidal Yearning
However there is a broader perspective to this. If we widen our view from just the here and now, I think we’d find that the desire to go inward is part of a deep, tidal thirst. It’s an unquenchable yearning for God, satisfied only by our “reunion.” (2) That thirst or yearning is often called the longing for liberation. (3)
I’d expect a person on the awareness path to be somewhat more sensitive to it than many others because they’re constantly monitoring themselves, raising everything to awareness. They’d sooner or later come upon it, I think.
Add to that my basic monkish proclivities and it comes as little surprise that the need for introspection is pressing right now.
This tidal thirst goes on at a level below ordinary awareness – in the background, so to speak. According to sages, what most people do with it is translate it into a desire for something material. They feel a void and try to fill it with cars and trips and other things and experiences. However, nothing but God will satisfy us permanently.
Whether that tidal yearning is noticed or not, I believe that it exerts a pull over time that shapes our character at the deepest levels.
Imagine a cartoon with a man or woman standing upright with a significant bend in the middle. I see that as our situation. The tidal yearning for God attracts us and over time we become bent to its will. Or we ignore it and it goes away – for a while.
It’s been building in me for weeks. If I ignore it, I become a cranky child.
Somehow, later on, this introverted monk is going to have to enter the real world, attend meetings, be available on the phone, etc., etc. without becoming a three-year-old. I can’t say right now how I’m going to make that transition – any more than anyone else can. I’m out here paddling with everything I’ve got.
As Lisa Brown implies, something wants to be born. I just don’t know what it is or how to give birth to it. Yes, here again: No user’s manual.
I honestly have no real, sensible, tangible idea of where I’m going or where we’re going. If you need me to have one, then, abandon ship!
My work is not to know our destination beforehand, I’m afraid. I think that that’s someone else’s job – the ascended masters, galactics, and celestials for instance. My job, here on the ground in this light army, is to scout out the territory, adapt to the changes the newly-discovered brings, and report on it.
(1) Lisa Transcendence Brown, “Collective Awakenings of the Masses: Whatever It Takes To Wake All Up… This Is What Shall Occur…,” July 17, 2016, Ascension with Mother Earth and Current State of Affairs, at http://www.ascensionwithearth.com/2016/07/collective-awakenings-of-masses.html
(2) We never left.
(3) Liberation from illusion. On it, see The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment, Chap. 7, at Ch. 7 The Longing for Liberation; Life is a Game – And It’s Rigged!; Why are We Always Spiritually Hungry?; And Now the Longing Arises…. More, Better, Different” Or enter “longing for liberation” (in quotation marks) in the site’s search engine.